We feel guilt for a reason. Guilt will continue to grow if we do not ask for forgiveness from the One who redeems us. Personally, I continue to go through this feeling of guilt as I continuously sin against God and people. What I struggle with specifically is the fact that when I sin and ask for forgiveness, I seem to fall into the same trap over and over again. When I ask for forgiveness, I sometimes take it for granted as I fall back into the same trap. It’s as if asking for forgiveness is somewhat a ritual that I go through on a daily basis. Now, what if I were to offer a burnt offering to the Lord in order to be sanctified and redeemed on a yearly basis? Would this increase the level of conviction to improve as a follower of Christ? First, I would have to buy a sacrifice that is pure with no signs of blemish. Second, I would have to take it to the temple so that a priest may offer it to God. This physical act of attaining sanctification symbolizes the effort made to be closer to God. I am sure that when the Laws written by Moses were implemented that the Israelites initially did not treat burnt offerings as a mere ritual, rather, they were truly seeking God’s forgiveness. However, as time passed, even this act of seeking sanctification became a ritual and people just went through the motions as the act itself became more cultural in nature. So, what does it feel like to be forgiven? What does it feel like to be free from sin?
Isaiah 54:4-8 states:
“‘Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband- the Lord Almighty is his name- the Holy One of Israel is your redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit- a wife who married young, only to be rejected,’ says your God. ’For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back. In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you,’ says the Lord your Redeemer.”
We all stray from the faith, whether it be through a specific sin or through a significant moment in life that leads us to stray. I specifically have been on the path of going back to God, however, there are so many obstacles in the way that inhibit me from seeking Him whole heartedly. It is a perpetual state of guilt which leads to a continual stream of stress which builds up within me. I always ponder about my own weaknesses that prevail in my life to no avail. I heard once that it is the Holy Spirit that allows us or even causes a level of discomfort in my heart so that I may go to God for an answer. For a brief moment he abandoned me. In a surge of anger he hid his face from me for a moment. He has compassion for me because of his everlasting kindness. I want this compassion. I want to be redeemed by the Redeemer. I want to be with Him every moment of my life. I love you God. Thank you Jesus. Spirit lead me. I am sorry for my wretchedness. Convict me and soften my heart to be receptive to your teachings. Let me be the man of God who will glorify you in all that he does. In Jesus name I pray… Amen.
Lately, there is one person with whom I have not reconciled. There is fault on both sides and I am the first to admit this. There have been numerous times that I have approached that person, however, it seems like they are not interested at all. Rather, they want to ignore me. This rejection I have been able to cope with, it’s just that if we are going to be a part of the same community, there has to be a breaking point. Am I to be patient then? I believe that I have to be in this situation. Jesus states in Matthew 5:21-23:
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. Therefore, if you are offering your gift at an alter and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the alter. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”
Jesus, please give me the opportunity to reconcile with this specific person. I hope that out of this reconciliation, there will be a great testimony and your name will be Praised. I believe that you will bring upon us both a situation where we can settle our differences AND acknowledge that You were, are, and will be ministering to us as we develop our relationship with kingdom principals in mind. God, you know the hard times I have faced regarding this issue. I know that you love me so deeply and that person very deeply. I just pray that you will be with both of us during this time of hardship and will show yourself to us in mighty ways. I pray blessings on this specific person who is your child and who is just as precious as I am. I LOVE you Lord and I pray you continually show me how I can become more like your Son. In Jesus Name I pray. AMEN.
“We have seen how, for Lewis, there were two kinds of cognitive experience: ‘looking at’ and ‘looking along.’ In the latter, the beam of knowledge is invisible: it provides a comprehensive, as distinct from an apprehensive, mode of understanding. If Lewis has successfully rendered the arguments of…
Job was a righteous man. Righteous in the eyes of the world and God. Perhaps his wisdom also exceeded those around him as evidenced through the dialogue with his three friends. In the end, God finally spoke. God spoke through creation. He first asks Job a rhetorical question (Job 40:2):
“Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer him!”
Job had no answer for this question and admits that he is unworthy. God continues to give an illustration of his justice. In conclusion he states (Job 41:11):
“Who has a claim against me that I must pay? Everything under heaven belongs to me.”
As a voice coming out a whirlwind, God basically put Job in his place. However, if you remember, Job continuously rebutted his friends’ “advice” with the basic premise that God is sovereign. In whatever we do, wherever we are, God is sovereign. In fact, Job initially states (Job 1:21):
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”
Of course, Job being human laments as well and is well documented in the chapter 3. However, I believe that Job truly believed in God’s sovereignty, it was just a sliver a doubt created by his sinful nature that affected him. Conversely, the foundation of faith was firmly laid in Job’s life which was a testament to his understanding of who God is.
Many, including myself, viewed the atrocities that Job experienced as a test. After reading Job again, I do not feel that they are tests. Every healthy relationship is trust centered. With God it is the same. The only fundamental difference between a person to person and person to God relationship is the fact that the latter also has a dimension of reliance on God. Now, what is reliance? Reliance is the expectation that the other person is going to carry out what they promised to do. For example, if I own a store and have to replenish my stock, I call my supplier and pay him in reliance that the correct product will be delivered in a timely manner (basic contractual relationship). As a person who believes that Jesus is my Lord and Savior, I have created a covenant with God who blesses me for relying on Him. Reliance between people is imperfect as we are all sinful. Job understood this and that is why he did not take comfort in what his friends were saying, rather, he ultimately took comfort and relied in the fact that God is sovereign. In the end, we have no choice but to rely on God, however, God NEVER NEEDS to rely on us.
What is trust? Trust is much like reliance however, the fundamental difference is that trust is believing in someone or something. Trust between people is built over time and manifests itself in the fact that we give each other freedom. With God, people, including myself, tend to think that God should gain our trust. This is because we live in a 3 dimensional universe that limits our view of God. We tend to compare our relationship with God with the relationships we have with others. Consequently, we view trust in God as one that is built. For example, when you meet someone for the first time or enter into an intimate relationship with someone, do you trust them from the beginning? We tend to build trust over time with them. This is due to the fact that we have an inherent distrust in others as sinful nature is prevalent in everyone. This sinful nature inhibits us from trusting others immediately. With God, He has given us an avenue to trust him immediately as he is the epitome of perfection and righteousness. As we “grow” in our relationship with Him, this becomes more and more apparent. God in his infinite wisdom has given us grace to cover our imperfection and allows us to “grow” in our relationship with him. Now, I mentioned that this trust is reciprocal. He, the creator, our savior, in his infinite wisdom trusts us. I am now starting to understand this paradoxical concept of trust. His grace is sufficient and the blood of Christ is perfect. He clothes us in grace and mercy. We may fail him most of the time, however, he is there to forgive AND restore that trust. He never lets go. He continues to trust us in the midst of our failures and shortcomings. He trusts us because He ultimately wants the best for us. He loves us so much that he will not let go. He trusted Job. He trusts me.
I personally have so many shortcomings. In the midst of my shortcomings, if I rely on God, trust Him, and know that He trusts me as I have been saved through the blood of Christ, I have everything to look forward to. Times may be tough (personally for me they are), but, the spark of hope ignited by reliance and trust in God is growing into a raging fire which cannot be contained. He gives and takes away and His name will ALWAYS be praised.
As the Israelites returned to Judah, the Lord appointed Haggai to speak to the leaders Joshua son of Jehozadak the High Priest and Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel the Governor of Judah. Most people would do as the Israelites did when returning to their home, they would rebuild their own houses and possessions in order to reclaim what was once theirs. Haggai 1:2-11 gives the framework of God’s dismay with His people:
“Then the word of the Lord came through the prophet Haggai: ‘Is it a time for yourseles to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?’ Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘Give careful thought to your ways. You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.’ This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘Give careful thought to your ways. Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build the house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,’ says the Lord. ’You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?’ declares the Lord Almighty. ’Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house. Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the oil and whatever the ground produces, on men and cattle, and on the labor of your hands.’”
To what extent must I live for myself, yet, ignore God in such a way that my own life is full of discontent? For example, I waste so much energy trying my best to “create” happiness. As in Haggai, the Lord yearns for our attention by calling on hardship. After the Israelites built their paneled houses and they started to put their attention on themselves yet again. That is why God called on drought to have them toil in their efforts in “creating” happiness. Happiness is not created, rather, it exists. The problem is that at times I cannot recognize the source of happiness.
The pattern is relentless. For example, I graduated from university with two degrees, worked hard on getting my JD, and rounded this off with an LL.M in taxation. In essence, I am highly educated. I truly believe that the Lord was calling me to the legal field. I still believe that the Lord is calling me to the legal field. However, although my mind was improving as I gained a lot of knowledge through education, I did not build the temple of the Lord within myself first. I experienced so many doors open and close through my academic career. The doors seemed to close whenever I strayed from building the temple of the Lord within myself. Consequently, after years of studies, I am stuck in this one spot where it seems that life is not moving. To be honest, it’s been depressing at times as I feel that my efforts in the end seem hopeless. Where does this hopelessness come from? It comes from the fact that I took ownership over all the things that I accomplished over the years and did not recognize that the temple of the Lord has been kept in disarray within my own heart. There is drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the oil and whatever the ground produces, on me, and on the labor of my hands.
In the end, can I create happiness? No. Happiness exists and it is not by the works of my hands that it exists. Rather, true happiness and joy come in the form of the Lord living within the Temple that I have built through the word within me. The pursuit of God is all that I should strive for. All other things such as a career, money, family, nice things, and recognition are fruitless as God will call a drought when we put these things first and foremost in our lives. It’s interesting to note that most people are comfortable with what the world offers and uncomfortable with what God offers. Instead, should we not strive to be comfortable with what God offers and uncomfortable with what this world has to offer? Pursue God and all other aspects of life will come into place.
One of the greatest inspirational passages is Joshua 1. ”Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Whenever I read Joshua Chapter 1, I always assumed that Joshua was terrified to step into the shoes of Moses. He was mandated with the task of leading Israel into the promised land. However, Joshua was not appointed the leader all of a sudden, rather, he went through the necessary progressive steps in becoming a leader. In other words he was groomed and anointed as the leader. This is seen in Deuteronomy 34:9 which states “Now Joshua son of Nun was filled with the spirit of wisdom because Moses had laid his hands on him. So the Israelites listened to him and did what the Lord had commanded Moses.” Joshua in essence had a MENTOR who guided him, taught him, and eventually passed the reigns onto him. What better person to learn from than Moses? I believe that Joshua was nervous about the prospect of becoming the next leader of the nation, yet, had confidence that it was not by his strength and courage that Israel would see a covenant fulfilled, rather, Joshua had strength and courage because God would be the one to fulfill the covenant.
As such, there are proclamations and instructions given to Joshua:
Israel will inherit the land.
Obey the law and meditate on it unceasingly.
Do not be terrified or discouraged because the Lord your God is with you.
With this, the Israelites themselves submit to God’s authority and listen to Joshua who is a “prophet” just as Moses was a “prophet.” God’s spiritual authority is dictated to the people through Joshua. As one reads through the book of Joshua, God is the one who dictates to Joshua about what must be done. Joshua in his humility understands that God has absolute spiritual authority and communicates what God has spoken to the people with full faith and credit. It is through this belief and faith in God’s absolute spiritual authority that Joshua has strength and courage.
Personally, I have been neglecting this verse for a long time. What right do I have to question God’s absolute spiritual authority. Once I start questioning God’s providence, I start going down a path of weakness and discouragement. I become weary and apathetic. It is during times such as these that my understanding of the world becomes skewed and reliance on myself becomes futile.
As a Christian, I have been anointed and the spirit of wisdom is within me. It is through my own lack of faith that makes me deaf and blind to what the spirit is trying to say to me. Everyday, I want to keep reminding myself that it is not me who lives, rather, it is Christ who lives in me.
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
Sin causes hardship. As mentioned previously in Chapter 11 of Hebrews, the author speaks of those who lived by faith. Interestingly, they all struggled with their own sin before they became figures of faith. There was constant struggle as we live in a world full of sin. The author encourages us to shed our sinful natures and think about the burden that Christ endured in order that we do not grow weary (Hebrews 12:1-3). The constant struggle caused by sin comes in the form of discipline from God who loves us very much. It is out of his infinite love and wisdom that we go through this phase of discipline in order to attain righteousness and peace. As painful as discipline may be, the fruit of it is what I have to strive for.
Lately I have been thinking about being discontent. What is being discontent? Well, the American Heritage Dictionary defines it as “A restless longing for better circumstances.” I can’t disagree with the definition, however, I believe that there are two different types of being discontent.
The first type of discontentment is one based on the world. What do we long for in life? A nice house, a family, a good job, a nice car, a great significant other etc. The list goes on and on. But, is there true joy in attaining these things? I believe that if we are discontent with what we have in this world, nothing this world offers will satisfy that insatiable hunger to have more. It’s as if we have a parasite living within us that takes just enough away when we reach our worldly goals leaving us undoubtedly hungry for more. Now, this discontent with what we have in the world will affect us in peculiar ways. We get jealous, angry, depressed, stressed, worried, and just about any negative feeling or emotion. In the end, we enter this perpetual “…restless longing for better circumstances.” For a non-Christian, the remedy for this malady is looking for something new that will “truly” fill this hunger. As such, this remedy is based on our own greed which permeates through us. We use people for our own gain. We run away from our own problems. We sometimes steal from others. We lie to get a foot up on others. We become unreasonably dependent on others. We look for answers in all the wrong places which inevitably gets us into some deep shit (pardon my French). However, in our efforts to obtain the unobtainable, we eventually burn out and all those negative emotions start surfacing. Tragically, some people get to a point where they end their lives. This is very tragic as those people lose sight in their own potential.
The second type of discontentment is led by the Holy Spirit. I was listening to a sermon by Darrell Johnson of Vancouver First Baptist Church once regarding this topic. He states that the Holy Spirit moves us to become discontent when we fall from God. Once our lives are not centered around God, we become very uncomfortable. There is a void within each of us whenever we fall away due to the fact that our intimate relationship with our Father has been severed. Darrell went onto say that our individual body is a representation of the Church. In essence, each individual is the Church. Once God is absent, we no longer are the Church. Strong words. Without God, the individual eventually fails. Jesus gave the perfect analogy through the Prodigal Son. We leave. We search throughout the world to fill this void, this hunger, this absence of something so pure. We ultimately end up losing sight of what is missing until we hit rock bottom. It is interesting that a person like myself knowing what the answer is deliberately loses sight of it to fill my own insatiable greed through my own efforts. The only answer, “unfortunately” is God. As long as He is with us, wherever we may be, we will be content.
Discontentment is definitely manifested when we have a relational problem with others. Most of us either feel angry, depressed, or extremely uncomfortable when we see that other person. As I am a hypocrite, I have definitely acted extremely poorly when it comes to fractured relationships. My own foolishness tends to take over and the Spirit is put on mute. However, as time passes, I realize how destructive I was. Many times, it is almost impossible to reconcile. Now, think about what it is like when we are disconnected with our Father. The good news is God has infinite grace and through this grace gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us back to Him. We just have to recognize the divine wisdom of the Holy Spirit so that we may be influenced positively. Once we reconnect with God, all worldly and spiritual discontentment dissipates and is replaced with a feeling of contentment that permeates us. I don’t know about you, but,
I am discontent. I am just writing this to proclaim truth so that I may truly believe that my Heavenly Father always wants the best for me.
“As I get older, I find that I believe with all my heart in the comic approach to life. I mean, we’re all sitting in this room very seriously, we all...”
